[1:44:45] A: aww i shud do philosophy. i.e. im thinking far too much tonite
[1:45:12] lol ahhh why cant i find a purpose in life
[1:45:19] B: hahahaha
[1:45:30] yeah i get like that sometimes
[1:45:33] whats bothering you in particular?
[1:46:57] A: absolute lack of control to even keep my girlfriend... and that whatever i do to make my life seem attractive to her will make seem pointless lol
[1:47:27] why isnt the world just made of a single piece of matter. in fact pretty much why is there a 'world'?
[1:47:44] the very existence of anything doesnt make sense
[1:48:17] B: yeah thats very true
[1:48:30] the world could be just a single piece of matter anyways
[1:48:32] and what really is "matter" that's a human concept
[1:48:49] A: haha yeah true
[1:49:12] the worst bit for me is that there's no answer lol
[1:50:01] B: of course there isn't
[1:50:16] whatever "answer" there is wouldn't be satisfactory
[1:50:53] A: yeah. and thats why i hate the world lol
[1:51:06] this is the perfect reason for alcohol tho =D
[1:54:52] lol also tried to make a super summery nd i guess that im annoyed that i cant achieve my objective in life. probably
[1:54:59] which is to live forever lol
[1:55:20] B: really? that's your objective?
[1:55:26] what do you do once you live forever though lol
[1:55:34] A: well, when i think of what i want, thats what i want lol
[1:55:59] haha well, better to exist than not to. since i started doing it already
[1:56:17] B: guess so
[1:56:33] A: if u start a job, do it properly i reckon lol
[1:56:33] B: but are you any more upset that you missed the year 1800 than you would if you miss the year 2200
[1:57:37] A: lol i am now =P hmmm i see ur point but, i just really dont want to not exist lol
[1:58:35] B: yeah i guess
[1:58:42] but what does it actually mean to "not exist"
[1:59:04] A: well this is the problem lol i guess non-conscienceness
[1:59:50] B: so then why would not existing matter
[1:59:56] since you wouldn't be aware of it
[2:00:07] A: well, because im aware of it now already lol
[2:00:28] ive gotten a taste of life, and dont want the food supply to run out lol
[2:02:32] B: exactly
[2:02:35] but what im saying is
[2:02:43] youll never know when you stop existing
[2:02:54] theres not like a specific day when you know that you will die
[2:03:34] A: so , ahhhh hmmmm ok, so if i wonty know, i shouldnt fear it, because it not pain, its just something tht happens
[2:04:00] B: exactly
[2:04:14] it's something that no one can explain to us, because no ones ever returned from it
[2:04:16] A: hmmm haha but it still annoys me lol
[2:04:23] true
[2:04:32] no i agree i agree, it just still makes me angry haha
[2:04:52] lol thanks =)
[2:05:05] B: it's fine haah i get like this more than anyone i think
[2:05:20] but it's really unhealthy thinking about that, because then you waste what life you have worrying about it
[2:05:28] A: my second problem. how can i find a way to stay with ---. i guess the answer is just to be myself haha urgh no there's just never an answer to anything!
[2:05:36] haha truueee
[2:07:07] urgh i hate existentialism and dialectism and everything. but i do enjoy thinking of it. cos it makes me go on to debate websites and leave annoying comments about how nothing matters... and in fact what theyre arguing about is pointless etc haha
[2:07:49] not religious ones, cos i feel they could hve some worth. but u know, arguing about th news etc
[2:08:38] haha i think id hate to study philosophy too, because there's just no answers in it haha
[2:08:56] B: haha yeah
[2:08:59] theres no point really
[2:09:04] but then theres no point in anything :P
[2:10:05] A: haha i know, ah the number of times i annoyed --- all night tellin her how nothin mattered and she just answered so why bother living... and thus i had no answer and so we just went in circles lol
[2:11:00] B: haha because living is better than not living at the moment?
[2:11:06] and the unknown is scary
[2:11:19] A: haha yeah
[2:11:31] ahhhh it makes sense
[2:12:52] with our limited knowledge, we are constantly choosing to maximise our gains in life, in this case the choice between living or not, since we dunno what else there is, and therefore keep on living
[2:13:04] hah economics u do hve some use
[2:15:32] i now feel strangely better
[2:16:15] B: haha
[2:16:16] good
[2:16:25] its always better when you rant about this sort of stuff :P
[2:17:10] A: yeah true haha just never let me be convinced by someone that the other side is better, cos thts a dangerous turn lol
[2:17:45] even tho loads of ppl believe tht to be true and dnt take their lives lol
[2:18:27] ah ofc, thts why christianity condemns suicide maybe lol
[2:19:17] B: yeah of course it does
[2:19:25] cause if they are selling heaven as better than earth
[2:19:32] why don't people just kill themselves now :P
[2:19:35] A: haha right?
[2:19:42] ah a strange world
